The Bleeding ROSE.

Water droplets trickle down the beautiful RED ROSE....the darkness creates a delusion as if the ROSE is bleeding... And does it alone contribute to that delusion or am I? I pen down this post not to impress you, not even me.Somewhere its hurting, and its hurting a lot. Do you have that magical potion to heal my wounds? Can you come back as I have always imagined all these months? Can life for once prove the philosopher's statement-'Life Is Magical'. Maybe not the rose but its my heart that cries. The concept of LOVE should completely be eradicated from its ROOT. That's the solution to the miseries and pain of millions & millions of us in this world. And while I am writing all this, the person who is on the other side is not aware @ all... GOD PLEASE HELP ME..

the shore...

By the sea...am I strolling as the wind blows and distorts my hair style. Pleasant is the word to describe the

climate and my state of my mind.
Such days of leisure are uncommon but always reintroduce me to myself.Walking on these pebbles and leaning on the rocks, I

see a reflection of the life that has passed by over the past few weeks. Meeting people , choosing a few who do not remain

just people but a part of my life. Reflecting upon who among these are for a reason , a season...a lifetime?
None have remained for a lifetime till now. This thought used to bother earlier, but hardly effects anymore. Come who wants

to...go who wants to, I shall be happy with you till your stay in my life.
Speaking of family...reflections always bring a smile and build the eagerness to meet.
A mind that never leaves me void of melody during such situations...a hummable and pleasant tune always playing in it.
Sometimes I join the flow of the melody and sing along. A voice that soothes and brings a smile...

'...mere liye tu toh jaise hai rab ka nazraana...'

Looking back the way life has gone by in terms of career...given my best to whatever I have done even at times of most

disinterest, but its always been a work to make a living and not make the work my living.

One person always missed, one person whose exit has changed me so much, 14 years and I yet aint successful to find my

introduction to be the same as the 24X7 cheerful, peaceful Sai pre-1997!!!

And humming the tune played by my DJ-mind, I walk slowly away from the shore...to get lost in the crowd of so many unknown

faces and be another unknown face.

The World as seen by two pairs of eyes.

The world in which we are is not the WHOLE world, 'coz we are not in the WHOLE world but a part of it, a real small part.
So many people around us, yet so few. A small world rather is what we then say.
And in this small world exists in the wilderness of this greenery a house. The greenery of the dense forest, the bed of it so green and soft. Never thought that this is
also the same world we live in!!!

Such beauty left behind in dreams when I come back to my 900sft apartment every evening(or should I say night) convincing my heart to believe that this is reality. But is
it really real?

For Mr.Eishaan the reality is his house amidst that greenery. Both of us come back home but does it feel the same? While Mr.Eishaan spends time back home reading a book and
having some bread stickas with hot chicken soup, my reality pushes me to survive on the food cooked by the maid. Not that I cant get soup or sticks BUT ... forget it, too hard to
get into these details now.

I spend time with finishing my left over work and then try to be social on a social networking site to kill my loneliness. But now, is this socialising real?
If I ask this question to a guru or a senior, he/she would say:'Thats life Sai', end of story.

But Mr.Eishaan I would like to ask this question to you:
'What do you want to prove by staying away in so much solitude?' At the end of the day both of us are alone.
'Why can't you be a part of the life that I lead? The buildings, the technology, the ordinary cars and my hunger for the luxury ones; Part of the rat race in this real real world of
artificially intelligent machines.


Aah! I get it, I get it. Mr.Eishaan wants to pose that hez cool. Making a living by writing books, enhancing on the current technology whose slave I've been for the last
6 years. And spending the rest of the time in the day to sing, dance, play with the children at the orphange, dine with them(sometimes) and sit by the sea in the evenings with a cup of
tea. The great Mr.Eishaan who does not look forward to be a Manager or a CEO, who does not want to run behind women for LOVE or any such feeling. Who definitely knows what
true LOVE is but maybe the opposite sex these days do not.
Void of anger, lust, greed but filled with kindness for others and faith in the almighty.

O Mr.Eishaan, admit it that you are a loser. Please please atleast once, to make me feel that I am not. After all where I live is the real world, the practical world, atleast
once help me believe that where I am and what I am doing is what I am born to do, LIVE in this real world!

huh?...late for the next meeting.


Keep d faith...
Karun.

Go, gone, Vanish.

life moves on...
That's it.
These were her last words. And suddenly a bike rides over me and vanishes. But I am still getting calls, and I try my first flight from the top of my company's building... And lo! I can fly. Awesome...but a drop of tear still falls ... Making its way to the earth's flatness.
Aah...my hand senses something wet. That drop of tear it is...and I realize am awake.

Huh? Dreams I must say actually are like flying horses.
Some try to interpret them, some just forget. I do neither. Just remember them and pat my subconscious mind for such great imagination.
But melancholy is the flavor of the day. A near and dear, who is valued the most if hurts doesn't realize what or how huge could be the impact. Emotions are priceless, and so a rare found possession. But the reason been given for their scarcity is not that they are priceless but that they are useless!
Emotions should never overflow-accepted. BUT should nevertheless be valued.
Haa, look who's talking of emotions! I remember the reply to a mail of mine from my ex-crush's boyfriend, it said: 'karun to misunderstand, you should have understanding first.' Though all these years I wasn't in agreement to this statement but today I realize: how true! I haven't ever been able to understand others.All these years(7+ years) I wasn't , BUT today I find no opinion wrong.

But the result of all this...
The dreams of mine...so restless, painful and also sometimes eye watering.
The solution to all this is nothing but to live as much as possible in oblivion. I know that that would again not leave people quiet, but they would now say am being a coward or I should not give up on life. Again they are the same people... Realization that am a failure in personal relationship management (even a counselor confirmed this ;-) ), because I always am on the extremes of sharing emotions in a relation is late but worthy, but no self-pity or sympathy intended or expected here(dunno why people misinterpret my statements)... AND SO I DO QUIT.
Its ok to accept cowardice as a quality. C'mon until when should we just keep bothering about
What Would People Think or Say?

Keep d faith...
Karun.

TERE LIYE...JHOOMUN DIWANA BANKE.

Yes...by heaven's grace I am back in the mood to put across my feelings( MY feelings) again.
And what is it that keeps me occupied most of the time? The song which goes like - Tere liye...
Why?
I don't know why the fixation to this song, but should every like or dislike have a reason... naah!
A feeling ... a drive...a force that puts me on the track of LIFE. That's what thrills me these days. A great force indeed. Is my wait over?

Lakshya-that's the word.

Lakshya-Goal
Words that mean a lot in one's life and have often been the topic of discussion in many of my posts.
But why do I write so much about it? Is it because my exposure to the world and education has given me the foresight and understanding of it? I would like to question this reason.
A downtrodden farmer sick of the injustice and tyranny of the village landlords also sets up a goal- to kill them, this lakshya* of his shapes his career to become a rebel (Robin-Hood kinds). Now that didn't need education from books but surely learnings from life.
For a 10yr old Saikarun, the lakshya was to stand first in the class every year ...(joking, I was happy being in the top ten list, that alone saved me my honor) But it was surely important for this 10yr old to master his dance act on stage all those years until he was 17. And believe me that goal was surely very rewarding and gave him a lot of satisfaction with Life.
I remember another person whose goal in life was to make his family laugh.
Interesting isn't it?
These are people who work to live and not live to work. And that my friend is the mantra for you to be happy and satisfied with (not in) your life.

So who's joining me for my next Lakshya/Goal to master photography skills...?

Keep d faith...
Karun.

*Lakshya-goal.

Undoubtedly and Undisputedly the best Gift ever- Thanx God!

As I stop and look behind
A thousand memories strike my mind
Those wonderful days when you were there
To love me and take my utmost care
And then came the times of despair
When winds of terror had come to scare
To tell me that you would leave soon
Though then it felt to be only a nightmare
Now its a fact that you are not there
But still your fond memories
Give me the comfort that are rare
Oh! mother I miss you so much
Though by blessing me always, you are still in touch.